Saturday, May 12, 2012


He said "Come."
At that word my soul gave a happy little skip but Alas! my flesh had quite a different reaction. Down to my toes my stomach plunged and with a wild leap my heart was in my throat making my startled exclamation come out in a stifled squeak. For past his outstretched hand i saw many many things, uncomfortable things. There were distant foreign lands, groups of unknown people, many of who seemed to be in pain...gruesome pain. It made me feel a little sick and all the more frightened. There were many things i saw but the scariest was the fuzzy unknown things, the unknown future.I knew of course that the future is always hidden but those blurry visions did not look at all like what i had carefully planned for my future. I turned my eyes toward his kind and oh so gentle ones.
I stuttered, "But...but want me to follow you there? But what if...what if i should catch some horrible disease? For it is all so dirty and unsafe! but worse than that, worse than and bodily harm...what if i go and they hate me? you know yesterday with those could you expect me to hang out with them? I am quite shy you know and what should i have said? I didn't know them you see. They might have laughed at my stumbling words. And another know how i should like to give you my everything,earthly goods and all, but i feel so poor already. If i gave it all to you, how would i pay for college...and everything else? i know you say you will provide everything i need but...will you??"
my voice broke off and i wrung my hands. The worries, doubts and fears still racing through my mind. He just stood there while behind him flashed all the alarming things.
Again he said, "Come..." this time even more softly. Again my soul gave that absurd little jump. My soul's excitement caused my feet to take one involuntary step forward. But much too fast my flesh wrestled back control and the next thing i knew i was cowering behind the couch.
"Okay, this is just silly!" my soul huffed in annoyance.
"No its not!" my flesh replied, "didn't you see all that stuff??"
"Oh come on! You know He says all the time not to be afraid,be of good courage, i will take care of you." my soul countered.
"Yes!...but...Oh will he? Oh if only i could be for certain..." i chewed my fingernails nervously.
"You can be for certain! Do you not trust him?"
"Yes but..."
"Oh of course! always the 'but' must come into play! The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." my soul said bitterly.
"Oh dear!" i sighed heavily,  "if only i could shake this fear."
There came a faint whisper, "Ask him to borrow you courage. You can't do this on your own.Give him control."
My eyes brightened and my soul clapped
"What a splendid idea!' My soul and body said in unison. I peeked over the couch and there he stood with infinite patience.
"Could i...could i borrow some courage? a large dose please? and would you mind taking this fear?" I asked.
"Of course my child! i was wondering when you'd ask" He replied with a smile. He carefully lifted my fears and threw them far, ever so far away and then he wrapped my heart with courage and strength. When he was done he looked at me again with a twinkle in his beautiful eyes, "Come?"
I smiled and linked my arm in His.

When you follow Him it won't be safe and comfortable, on the contrary it will be rather alarming at times and very unsafe by human standards. Its crazy really, how safe you'll feel in the most unsafe circumstances.

P.s the painting is for sale: 11in by 14in acrylic on was done impressionist style for school.


  1. wow. yes. did you write that amber? incredible. the painting too:)

  2. yes twas written in the late hours in the notebook that you gave me...

  3. Intensely beautiful. The painting and especially the literature.

    Perhaps I read too much about war. Poppies always lead me "In Flanders Fields" to the terrors of World War I and II. Under the poppies' joy of freedom lurks the lingering sorrow of the exorbitant price of peace.

  4. Amber!!You made me cry cause you spoke so exactly my very feelings!:') I can so relate to everything you feel...especially the language! Believe me! But you have more guts then me, so you'll do awesome;)

  5. haha shanda i do not! i admire you to the extreme for how well and brave you are with speaking!! and thanks carson:) yes when i started the painting it made me think of that poem and about the wars but eventually it just became somewhere id really like to have a picnic:)

  6. I'm so sorry but the painting is already sold...if you like it i would be glad to paint another one that's similar...

  7. I'd love one, because it looks like Romania. How would I get it and how would I pay you...Maybe next time we come to Ukraine I'll let you know in time and we can work it out. Love all your art, by the way! I long to draw (too lazy to bother with paints) but it's easier to write. Lazy much?

  8. Okay next time your here(or whenever) you can contact me at amberlynnlilly94(at)gmail(dot)com and we can figure something out...
    And btw for some of us its easier to draw than to write :)