Come?

He said "Come."
At that word my soul gave a happy little skip but Alas! my flesh had quite a different reaction. Down to my toes my stomach plunged and with a wild leap my heart was in my throat making my startled exclamation come out in a stifled squeak. For past his outstretched hand i saw many many things, uncomfortable things. There were distant foreign lands, groups of unknown people, many of who seemed to be in pain...gruesome pain. It made me feel a little sick and all the more frightened. There were many things i saw but the scariest was the fuzzy unknown things, the unknown future.I knew of course that the future is always hidden but those blurry visions did not look at all like what i had carefully planned for my future. I turned my eyes toward his kind and oh so gentle ones.
I stuttered, "But...but you..you want me to follow you there? But what if...what if i should catch some horrible disease? For it is all so dirty and unsafe! but worse than that, worse than and bodily harm...what if i go and they hate me? you know yesterday with those kids...how could you expect me to hang out with them? I am quite shy you know and what should i have said? I didn't know them you see. They might have laughed at my stumbling words. And another thing...you know how i should like to give you my everything,earthly goods and all, but i feel so poor already. If i gave it all to you, how would i pay for college...and everything else? i know you say you will provide everything i need but...will you??"
my voice broke off and i wrung my hands. The worries, doubts and fears still racing through my mind. He just stood there while behind him flashed all the alarming things.
Again he said, "Come..." this time even more softly. Again my soul gave that absurd little jump. My soul's excitement caused my feet to take one involuntary step forward. But much too fast my flesh wrestled back control and the next thing i knew i was cowering behind the couch.
"Okay, this is just silly!" my soul huffed in annoyance.
"No its not!" my flesh replied, "didn't you see all that stuff??"
"Oh come on! You know He says all the time not to be afraid,be of good courage, i will take care of you." my soul countered.
"Yes!...but...Oh will he? Oh if only i could be for certain..." i chewed my fingernails nervously.
"You can be for certain! Do you not trust him?"
"Yes but..."
"Oh of course! always the 'but' must come into play! The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." my soul said bitterly.
"Oh dear!" i sighed heavily,  "if only i could shake this fear."
There came a faint whisper, "Ask him to borrow you courage. You can't do this on your own.Give him control."
My eyes brightened and my soul clapped
"What a splendid idea!' My soul and body said in unison. I peeked over the couch and there he stood with infinite patience.
"Could i...could i borrow some courage? a large dose please? and would you mind taking this fear?" I asked.
"Of course my child! i was wondering when you'd ask" He replied with a smile. He carefully lifted my fears and threw them far, ever so far away and then he wrapped my heart with courage and strength. When he was done he looked at me again with a twinkle in his beautiful eyes, "Come?"
I smiled and linked my arm in His.

When you follow Him it won't be safe and comfortable, on the contrary it will be rather alarming at times and very unsafe by human standards. Its crazy really, how safe you'll feel in the most unsafe circumstances.

P.s the painting is for sale: 11in by 14in acrylic on canvas...it was done impressionist style for school.

Love

Today i was once again shown Jesus' huge unimaginable love...
Me, my sisters and my friend went to an old invalid lady's house. This old lady is actually not that old, i later found out to my great amazement. She is around 45 to 50 but she looks like 80. She is slowly dying of cancer, spending all day and all night in her little bed, for years. She can't get out of her bed much less the house, all she can do is lay there. And the only person to help her is her husband who is unwell himself...and  who is often drunk.      
 We walked into the little house and i was hit with a overpowering stench. I gagged at the cloying smell of body waste, vodka, smoke and chickens. I prayed desperately that Id stop gagging so the couple wouldn't see and so i could sing. God answered that prayer quickly(thank you Jesus) and i was able to ignore the smell and say 'Good Day' to Luba(that's the lady's name). We all grouped around the tiny,shriveled, white haired lady and i could see she was not getting the care she should be, not even close. When we started to sing she burst into tears and hid her face beneath the ragged blanket.As our voices filled the room Jesus gave me a glimpse of how much He loved this little forgotten dying lady. Tears pricked the backs of my eyelids as i saw her through His eyes and felt His sorrow knowing she didn't belong to him.
  After the songs my friend sat down to talk to her. I couldn't understand everything she said since im not very advanced in Ukrainian but i got the drift that she was telling her about God's grace and how Jesus loved her so much he died for her. And if she wanted to be His all she had to do was pray that He forgive her sins. My tears spilled over as Luba prayed and became one of His own. I saw peace flood her watery blue eyes and i smiled through my tears. She asked for another song so we sang one more and then left with the promise to come again.
 It made me feel so small to be part of something so big. The experience left me humbled. It is my prayer that i can be the hands and feet for Jesus.

p.s. As you can see i didnt post a piece of art...i havent had time lately to create anything...although i am working on two paintings, they are not near done yet...so yep no artwork for this post i guess...hope that's okay.. peace<3