At that word my soul gave a happy little skip but Alas! my flesh had quite a different reaction. Down to my toes my stomach plunged and with a wild leap my heart was in my throat making my startled exclamation come out in a stifled squeak. For past his outstretched hand i saw many many things, uncomfortable things. There were distant foreign lands, groups of unknown people, many of who seemed to be in pain...gruesome pain. It made me feel a little sick and all the more frightened. There were many things i saw but the scariest was the fuzzy unknown things, the unknown future.I knew of course that the future is always hidden but those blurry visions did not look at all like what i had carefully planned for my future. I turned my eyes toward his kind and oh so gentle ones.
I stuttered, "But...but you..you want me to follow you there? But what if...what if i should catch some horrible disease? For it is all so dirty and unsafe! but worse than that, worse than and bodily harm...what if i go and they hate me? you know yesterday with those kids...how could you expect me to hang out with them? I am quite shy you know and what should i have said? I didn't know them you see. They might have laughed at my stumbling words. And another thing...you know how i should like to give you my everything,earthly goods and all, but i feel so poor already. If i gave it all to you, how would i pay for college...and everything else? i know you say you will provide everything i need but...will you??"
my voice broke off and i wrung my hands. The worries, doubts and fears still racing through my mind. He just stood there while behind him flashed all the alarming things.
Again he said, "Come..." this time even more softly. Again my soul gave that absurd little jump. My soul's excitement caused my feet to take one involuntary step forward. But much too fast my flesh wrestled back control and the next thing i knew i was cowering behind the couch.
"Okay, this is just silly!" my soul huffed in annoyance.
"No its not!" my flesh replied, "didn't you see all that stuff??"
"Oh come on! You know He says all the time not to be afraid,be of good courage, i will take care of you." my soul countered.
"Yes!...but...Oh will he? Oh if only i could be for certain..." i chewed my fingernails nervously.
"You can be for certain! Do you not trust him?"
"Yes but..."
"Oh of course! always the 'but' must come into play! The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." my soul said bitterly.
"Oh dear!" i sighed heavily, "if only i could shake this fear."
There came a faint whisper, "Ask him to borrow you courage. You can't do this on your own.Give him control."
My eyes brightened and my soul clapped
"What a splendid idea!' My soul and body said in unison. I peeked over the couch and there he stood with infinite patience.
"Could i...could i borrow some courage? a large dose please? and would you mind taking this fear?" I asked.
"Of course my child! i was wondering when you'd ask" He replied with a smile. He carefully lifted my fears and threw them far, ever so far away and then he wrapped my heart with courage and strength. When he was done he looked at me again with a twinkle in his beautiful eyes, "Come?"
I smiled and linked my arm in His.
When you follow Him it won't be safe and comfortable, on the contrary it will be rather alarming at times and very unsafe by human standards. Its crazy really, how safe you'll feel in the most unsafe circumstances.
P.s the painting is for sale: 11in by 14in acrylic on canvas...it was done impressionist style for school.
